Dont apologize for being emotional
“You are so sensitive. Geez!”
“Stop being so emotional! Stop crying already. It is just a dog!”
These are, inter alia, the animadversions thrown at me whenever I release my bottled-up emotions. Subsequently, I stopped being emotional and all my emotions started to pent-up and that was when I felt like the planet earth seemed like a dark place. As a consequence, I started hating everybody.
I was afraid of being judged for being my emotional self as given the nature of my job, being a professional, we are potrayed as fearless, emotionless and incorrigible.
“but no one will understand me”
You do not need people to understand the chaotic emotions you are experiencing. Do not apologize for shedding a few tears. Do not try to explain. Cry as much as you need to. It does not make your problems to wither away, no but it helps you to feel better about yourself. We are human after all.
In the words of Captain Kirk in Star Trek “We humans are full of unpredictable emotions that logic alone cannot solve” and that is why, in my opinion, the emotional Kirk makes the best Star Trek Captain.
In this article, I am not going to write 1001 ways on how to make yourself emotionally numb. One of the reasons why I am writing this article is because contrary to popular belief, we are on our quests to embrace our emotional selves.
A good support system
Growing up, I have never seen my mother cry. I begged her to try to get into the root of my tohubohu soul but to no avail. Thereafter, I apologized for being emotional. I tried to replicate my mother's emotional walls but I realized it has taken its toll on me – I became more bitter and angry. That was when I realized repressing my emotions is hazardous to my mental health.
Different people have different ways of dealing with emotions. You just need a good support system preferably someone who is on the same par as you, emotionally. Someone who would tell you that it is alright to feel what you are feeling and would be there for you if you need a shoulder to lean on.
Someone who is very dear to me wrote - please vent to me when these things happen. It is good to let it out and I want you at maximum happiness.
That was when I realized that the planet earth is not that dark after all.
Channel your emotions into something else
Before my ACL injury, I was very much involved in Capoeira. Capoeira is all about emotional expressions. You get to play instruments, sing and let your emotions flow unhindered and translate it into movements and and no one is going to judge you for being you.
Alternatively, when I feel uncomfortable talking to people about my emotions, I would go for a trip to my happy place, Tip of Borneo (3 hours drive from the place I live) and just blend in with nature. Paddling at the point where the South China Sea meets Sulu Sea is immensely therapeutical. It is one of my conduits to emotional release.
Emotional people are unusually creative
I was never a painter but when my emotions get overwhelmed, I would translate my emotions into arts and writing. My paintings are probably not good enough to be sold but seeing my string of paintings keeps my emotions in check.
And I do write poems..sometimes. Those poems are the products of being my emotional self.
We get to connect with other people on a deeper level
Because we dare to share our flaws and empathy with another person. We tend to go beyond the surface and delve into the feelings behind the surface. This is vital in developing meaningful relationship. We can't connect with another person based on “a dazzling display of logics”. The emotional people go into the root of the souls and connect emotionally.
The moral of the story is don't apologize for being emotional.