Believe you.believe me.

forever alone.

2011-11-27T08:24:00.000-08:00

I want my beer and ciggarate!

heart pounding and butterflies.

2011-07-31T18:11:00.001-07:00

I am scared. I am terrified. I am petrified. I need another miracle at least for once.

of winter and the smell of coffee.

2011-03-27T03:55:00.000-07:00

Caramel hot chocolate on one side, Tiramisu on the other side and 'the concept of law' in between.

Article of the day

2011-03-27T03:30:00.001-07:00

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2011/mar/27/uganda-gay-lesbian-immigration-asylum

Indeed a heart breaking read.

the reality.

2011-03-24T22:11:00.000-07:00

The reality is in the mind, sistah.

Article of the day

2011-03-06T08:53:00.000-08:00

What is morality to you? How do you define moral?

To me child marriage is immoral and to you it is otherwise.

To you polygamy is moral and to me it is otherwise.

Morality is very uncertain, hence there must be a clear demarcation between law and morality.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/4879248.stm

Vulnerability

2010-11-29T19:53:00.000-08:00

If a person could handle her/himself when s/he is at her/his most vulnerable state, then that person is worth to be with.

word

2010-11-21T21:05:00.000-08:00

Fact.

2010-11-21T20:52:00.000-08:00

I am not easily amused.

Past

2010-11-10T22:13:00.000-08:00

It's funny how you remind me of my past. The tone of your voice, the color of your skin, the anger in your eyes and the moment of silence in between.

Lucas direction

2010-11-10T21:34:00.000-08:00

If the prosecution seeks to rely on the fact that the defendant lied (for example, to police), it is sometimes necessary for the judge to give a direction to the jury.

The direction has three parts

1) The judge should tell the jury that the lie is only evidence of guilt if they are satisfied it was made deliberately.

2)The judge should remind the jury that people might lie not because they are guilty but for other reasons (for example, to bolster a weak case, to protect someone, out of panic or to cover up disgraceful behaviour).

3)The judge should tell the jury that the lie alone is insufficient evidence and they should look to see if the other evidence corroborates guilt.

Are you willing to go all out for the man you love, if he is sincerely in love with you, regardless his status?

2010-11-02T20:53:00.000-07:00

I guess it depends. but I would have to consider the repercussions and pros altogether and not to be blinded by love solely. cos love is just a fiction and in my point of view, assumption. fiction would crystallize into fact once you are sure,very sure that you are willing to go all out for the man you love regardless his so-called status. This is too technical I know but sometimes you have to be technical in order to be realistic. If you follow your heart solely, then you would go for him without taking into considerations pros and cons and in the end of the day, this so-called status that you ignore gonna bog you down.terribly.

If you are able to consider and therefore accept the consequences for being with a man you love regardless his so-called status, in other words, being realistic, hence by all means, go for it. but consideration should not be done overnight. Realistically speaking and speaking through my experience, love is not blind and do not let yourself be blinded by love.

Yes I do?

2010-10-09T20:40:00.000-07:00

Okay I am going to keep my cynical point of view on marriage aside. I simply love weddings because I get to eat delicious food without having to spend a single cents. Okthxbye.

Why family law?

2010-10-07T01:43:00.001-07:00

For some reason, family law fascinates me. This is the only subject (of all my 12 subjects) that I enjoy reading in the toilet every morning.

Fickle minded me.

2010-10-07T01:34:00.000-07:00

Seriously? A criminologist? How cool is that?

http://thestar.com.my/lifestyle/story.asp?file=/2007/11/3/lifefocus/19337513&sec=lifefocus

life is good

2010-10-02T12:06:00.000-07:00

I am eating arabic food and at the same time smoking shisha. oh not to mention Im receiving 2 millions in every 5 minutes and at the same time thinking which property I should buy. life is good,no? whatever.monopoly sucks big time.

whats new?

2010-09-30T21:40:00.000-07:00

I have the tendency of questioning every single thing in life and tendency of creating my own philosophy which is not applicable/acceptable to anyone but myself.

bookworm

2010-08-23T00:33:00.001-07:00

I am craving for a good book right now. Anything on Philosophy, Crime, Religions and especially Miracles. How I wish I was in KL right now so that I could go to Kinokuya in KLCC and spend the entire day reading books on Miracles.

Random.

2010-08-22T21:04:00.000-07:00

I really wish I could be honest here and pour my anger out here,for instance, " (insert name here) is being bitchy again". "(insert name here) is so bloody annoying."

Do not retaliate.

2010-08-15T06:21:00.000-07:00

When someone is treating you like shit, ignore that person. Do not retaliate. Trust me. Do not retaliate.

Quote of the day

2010-07-29T20:10:00.000-07:00

Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee and I'll forgive Thy great joke on me"

Robert Frost

Bla bla bla.

2010-07-27T23:41:00.000-07:00

I do not consider myself as a talkative person and I have a short attention span. I could be a little chatty at times, however I know when to stop talking and cut my crap out. I can't stand a long conversation that leads you to nowhere or when the other party starts talking without knowing where is the full stop, just to name a few.

I find it very annoying if a person constantly comes to my work desk and chat with me while I am doing my work. I do not want to hear that you are having gastric and you need a new glass or you are hungry. She continues with her bla bla eventhough I try as hard as possible to give her the Do-not-disturb look.

I think I am suffering from a nice girl syndrome. No not really.

where's my long waited holiday?part 2

2010-07-27T00:35:00.000-07:00

Working in a legal firm is immensely stressful. It is even more stressful when the lawyer is not present in the office and you have to face clients who come to the office with their heart-pouring problems. More stressful when you have the 'opportunity' to handle case of a client who has got your mobile number. Then comes another word, depression. Depression arises when you are trying to remember the 10th task on your invisible to-do-list and...unfortunately, you can't freaking remember the 10th task on your invisible to-do-list and you go berserk and frustrated over it.

In the end of the day, I just want to have my long waited holiday.

When You Believe- Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston

2010-07-25T21:01:00.000-07:00

Where's my long waited holiday?

2010-07-09T03:14:00.001-07:00

Sometimes I feel like removing those friends who posted status on Facebook, telling the whole world that they are going to Armsterdam, India and god-knows-where for holidays.

Now,now I am stucked at home with work while staring at those status.Darn it.

Kabare?

2010-07-05T06:36:00.000-07:00

My Godmother bought two sarongs for me from Indonesia. How nice of her. I have always loved sarongs. One of them caught my attention, ie the beaded sarong. Unfortunately, it is too short for me. Having quarter of Javanese blood does not help me to fit in those sarongs.

Maybe I should frame it up? What do you think? It is too pretty to hide it in the closet!

Time of the month.

2010-07-02T00:25:00.000-07:00

I wish I was as tall as Yao Ming so that I could sit on those nosy people who do not know how to mind their own bussinesses. I have no idea why they are so keen in knowing what's going on in my life. I am pretty much happy.period. How about you? Are you happy?

I am very much annoyed with those parents who 'brag' so much about their kids, particularly how smart and intelligent yada yada they are.ugh.

I am pretty much annoyed about everything. uhkie.bye.

One of the things that keeps my adrenaline pumping.

2010-06-07T05:14:00.000-07:00

and one of the things that makes me forget about everything. It makes me happy. It makes me smile as I sing and sway to the rhythm of a song.

I love singing with the band.

:)

Thoughts of the day

2010-06-03T20:26:00.000-07:00

I feel like I am surrounded by black clouds. The smell of bad energy lingers on me now. Succession seems so hard to swallow and exam is next week.

I am not living in the present. I am living in the past and future. This is not good. Those flashes of memories leave me with queasy feeling of unease. Thinking about the future makes me go nervous. How about the present?

I feel like I'm drowning. Drowning in a river of tears.

I love exams.

2010-06-02T00:52:00.000-07:00

Now I know the answer.

I am worried about being worried.

I think I should pay a visit to Secret Recipe and have a piece of Chocolate Indulgence.

I love exams. I love exams. I love exams.

P/S: Please guys, make a will now. Please make sure that the formalities have been complied with, the requirements under Banks v Goodfellow test (for mental capacity) must be satisfied and together with a requisite Animus Testandi. Please do not write your will on an egg shell.

My love and hate relationship with exams.

You're fired!

2010-05-31T22:41:00.000-07:00

He is known for poofy comb-over, an orange-and-gray swirl that hides his baldness. However he is definitely a person (apart from Gerard Butler(yums), Bill Rancic, Zig Zagler) who I would love to meet if I had a chance to. He is successful, a marvelous motivational speaker and he is such an inspiration to me.

“Experience taught me a few things. One is to listen to your gut, no matter how good something sounds on paper. The second is that you're generally better off sticking with what you know. And the third is that sometimes your best investments are the ones you don't make.” DT.

belief

2010-05-31T01:02:00.000-07:00

I believe nothing is permanent in this world.

Happy ending. That, to me, is a fairy tale. People step into your life and the next thing you know, you are no longer with them. It is either god loves them more than you do or they love someone else more than they love you or otherwise. This is when God / book of fate / some logical processes (if you are an atheist) comes in.

Well life has its ups and downs. Sometimes you are just clueless as to why bad things constantly happen to you knowing the fact that you have done good deeds to others. You wonder why you are surrounded by good people and good things happen to you and at the same time, you think you do not deserve all these. Maybe karma is more than just the law of moral causation? And again, this is when God / book of fate / some logical processes (if you are an atheist) comes in.

I have too many questions pertaining to life. Now I wonder why some philosophers have gone nuts due to the infinite questions of life.

life oh life oh life

2010-05-29T07:58:00.001-07:00

I am longing for :

an (island) trip with my good friends;
reading a good book by the beach;
belly dance, Zumba and pilates classes with mummy;
pub hopping with mi amor;
Giuliana and Bill marathon with sisters and my cat, Myghal;
food hunting with family.

I totally deserve this 3 months holidays!

Menu of the day

2010-05-27T06:34:00.000-07:00

Morning: Nasi lemak. That explains why I was feeling sleepy the whole morning.

Evening: Salted fish, omelette and steamed rice.

Evening: Mango with salt and chilli.

Evening: Coconut bun.

Night: McFlurry and Cornetto sundae from Mcd

Hmm.. I just remember that there is a chocolate bar inside the fridge. Should I or shouldn't I?

I guess I am a tad stress with exam. 9th June. Time is ticking and I am eating.

If you feel like giving up.watch this.

2010-05-27T06:00:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8ZuKF3dxCY

No matter what you're going thru, remember that there are others out there who've got it worse than you do. There is no problem without a solution:) cheer up.

old school uniform.

2010-05-15T05:42:00.001-07:00

As I was looking through the old photographs, I still remember how life used to be easy. Birthday parties, benevolent smiles, laughters, flowery dresses with matching shoes, pretty ponytails with colourful rubberbands, fancy school bags, police and thief game at the huge field with friends at the neighbourhood, trying to impress my god mom with my pancake making skills (pancake and cocoa powder.yuks.:)) and the list goes on. I still remember when I was little, the only "problems" I had were math homeworks and how to handle those naughty brats who made fun of me in school. But I was still happy.

As I grow and have gone through plethora of rough patches in life, I noticed that life is not about birthday parties and fancy school bags anymore. Life is more about myself, miId boggling problems and the solutions. I am the sole rider on that roller coaster, no one will be there to sit next to me, Only myself and God.

You cry yourself to bed, refused to wake up and face the reality but in the end of the day, you have to remember you are the one who put a smile on that sad face, force yourself to get back on track and go on with life because somehow you know that God has something in store for you. Be strong.:)

This is sickening.

2010-04-09T22:25:00.000-07:00

http://www.themalaysianinsider.com/index.php/malaysia/59268-child-marriage-fair-in-islam-foul-by-law

snickers is bad for braces.

2010-04-08T11:49:00.000-07:00

ah..finally I am done with preparing the essays for law of evidence. Now going to the next level which is the toughest process of all, ie memorising, memorising and memorising and coffee and eye bags and ciggarate. No, FYI, I don't smoke.

I have 5 and more essays, millions of cases and principles and my first paper is on the 12th May.

what the hell am I doing here? Why the hell am I still typing? It is 3 o'clock in the morning and I am listening to "I can transform ya" by Chris Brown while staring blindly at my. notes and ugly handwriting. Why am I still typing?

KBYE.

mortality

2010-04-05T05:44:00.000-07:00

"What is more beautiful than death?" –Hades, "Clash of the Titans"

close to you.

2010-03-29T05:17:00.000-07:00

Why do birds suddenly appear
Every time you are near?
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you.

Carpenters

Zig Zaglar.

2010-03-26T20:35:00.000-07:00

I think I have gone berserk, I am losing my sanity.

I am currently having issue with my handwriting. I think it's ugly.

I still have few topics to cover and therefore, this answers why I have gone berserk and I am losing sanity. I am still in a state of figuring out why people make ridiculous wills.

I am craving for cupcakes with pretty toppings and I want to eat 'em up while trying to figure out why do people make ridiculous and nonsensical wills.

Phew. I guess I am okay now. I just have to remember Zig Zaglar whenever I think of my ugly handwriting.

You cannot tailor-make the situations in life but you can tailor-make the attitudes to fit those situations. -Zig Zaglar

Random and welcome back.

2010-03-08T22:19:00.000-08:00

The fact that I have been away from the posting desk for ages puts me in an awkward position whereby I run out of ideas on what to blog.

I was debating with someone the other day about blogging. He submitted that blogging is just another instrument to let other people know about your weak points . I kinda agree with him in a sense that according to him some people blog when they are overwhelmed with anger and in an explosive release of blind rage. Hence, the fellow readers or if you're unlucky enough, your enemies would find out your turn-off points through your blog.

It's partially true.

However, I think it's healthy to let other people know what's on your mind. It's your own blog and it's your prerogative in which way you would like to utilise your blog. Different people have their own ways of writing . As long you know how to express yourself without breaching the law (law of defamation,anyone?), then no issue pertaining to this. Plus, if you (the readers) don't like the contains of a particular blog, then don't even think of coming across that blog.

Anyways, on a separate note, I am back!

:-)

2009-08-02T20:24:00.000-07:00

U know you can count on your friends when they are wiling to drive to an isolated place with one motive : to kidnap you and bring you to the "jungle" to have ice cream.:)

Thanks. Love you guys. I was in the midst of some mind boggling task,ie translation (pfft) and they called telling me that they are on the way to my house. It really made my day since I was stucked at home since Friday with the translation. But yeah, thank you.:)

Chiune Sugihara.

2009-07-31T23:38:00.000-07:00

I stumbled upon History Channel this afternoon while busy typing some work which has to be done by tommorrow. It was Chiune Sugihara documentary. He was the man who saved six thousand Jews who were trying to escape Nazi cruelty. His courage and bravery is now praised by thousands of Jews. Many tributes have been made to Sugihara, who has been recognized as Righteous Among the Nations.'

Many years later, one of those he saved waited 4 years to meet him to ask why he took such tremendous risks to help those he didn't know. He said:

"In life, do what's right because it's right, then leave it alone".

Very inspiring.

Food festive on Friday (FFF)

2009-07-31T00:46:00.000-07:00

TGIF! I am gonna treat myself and mi familia with homemade Chocolate Chips Cookies tonight! :-) and mum is cooking kuih cempedak! Blessings in life.:-D Have a good weekend everyone!

I see light at the end of the tunnel.

2009-07-28T22:58:00.000-07:00

I was all alone at the office. Sitting stiffly. I switched off the lights at the conference room. I was surrounded by a pocket of silence. There were so many things in my mind; the future, all the flashbacks, be it good and disastrous ones. Thinking, thinking and thinking. I told myself, I can't handle everything by myself. I was dead on one's feet. I felt vulnerable. Until quite abruptly, it stopped. Quite abruptly, I found that I was not thinking anymore and I found strength.

That voice asked me to call my godmother and finally I see light at the end of the tunnel.

R.I.P Beautiful soul.

2009-07-26T21:08:00.000-07:00

I was flabbergasted when I heard the news of the renowned Director, Yasmin Ahmad has passed away. Being the avid follower of her blog and movies such as Sepet and Gubra, I am actually affected by her lost. A beautiful soul like her could never be replaced. From the look of her face and her warm smile, eventhough we never met each other, I know she was a very nice lady. She was never afraid to express herself and her views through ther movies. She even left a comment in my previous blog when I requested an autograph from her long time ago. :)

She was and is still my idol. You will always be remembered. Miss you, Aunty Min.

bless me..

2009-07-17T20:42:00.000-07:00

I need your blessing,God.

Batik Cake

2009-07-16T02:05:00.000-07:00

I made batik cake this morning for breakfast. Yummy yummy! Instead of using Milo, I used Vochelle cocoa powder and it tastes superb! :-) You just dump all the ingredients and put in the fridge. No oven required. Easy peasy!

bombshell Megan Fox isn't perfect either.

2009-07-15T19:06:00.000-07:00

Nobody is perfect. Even celebrities have scars and pimples on their faces. Some of them have issues with perfection til they are willing to break the bank and go for a major plastic surgery. That's another different story because first, they have $$$$, secondly, they HAVE to look good infront of the camera.

But for us, we are the normal people trying hard to make a living, leading a normal life without having to look and have a body like Megan Fox in order to secure a good job. Being pretty (physically) is just a plus point. Everyone is beautiful. Everyone has their own way to potray beauty and sexiness. Boys will always be boys. They are attracted to beauty. But how do you define beauty? skimpy clothes? heavy make-ups? pretty face? sexy lips? gorgeous body?

Example, Woman A has everything, beautiful, great body, perfect hair, perfect eyes, perfect nose, perfect lips, and the list goes on. But A has a low self esteem despite the fact that she is pretty. She thinks she is not perfect enough to face the world and speak out her mind. She is too insecure with her looks. She thinks she is not beautiful enough.Woman B, well, she is beautiful but she might not be the prettiest and the most stylish in the bunch and as compared to A. But B has something extra which A does not have; confidence. She takes charge of herself, she is the so-called pilot. She is not afraid to face the challenge, she is cool and calm. That is beautiful to me. Confidence is beauty. I am attracted to people with confidence. Be it men or women.

I am not saying that women with pretty face have no confidence. What I am trying to say is regardless having a pretty face or not, CONFIDENCE is the pertinent key word to being beautiful. By going to the saloon to get your hair done, get your nails done, join dance classes etc will boost up your confidence.

I might not be the most confident person in the world, I experience stage fright as well, but I do make an effort to overcome my fear and drag my confidence back if I have to speak to infront of people. How? I will discuss in my next post!

So, women, stand straight and speak up!:)

Damon braces

2009-07-09T21:34:00.000-07:00

I am opting for Damon braces which is convenient for me since I do not have to travel from KL-KK quite often.

Certified Damon System doctors combine three key components, which when used together, deliver faster treatment, fewer appointments, greater comfort, and consistent high-quality results:

1. Damon passive self-ligating braces that eliminate the need for elastic or metal "ties". With Damon tie-less braces you can experience treatment without tightening.

2. Light high-technology shape-memory wires that move teeth faster and require fewer adjustments.

Guess what, since damon is still new in the industry and my dentist is actually still trying with this thing, hence the cost of damon braces is quite reasonable. (lucky me!). White braces is more expensive compare to Damon braces at the moment. at the moment, so I am kinda lucky cos the price will def increase in the future due to high demand. Personally, I think Damon Braces is suitable for people who travel a lot and also the chances of discomfort is very slim.

The only downside of this type of braces is it is all metals. Metal braces. Hence, I am also taking into account those comments that you guys prefer metal braces than white braces. so yeah there you go, metal braces.:)

I am opting for this definitely!

I am lost in paradise.

2009-07-09T21:27:00.000-07:00

I know that it might sound strange

But you made my seasons start to change

It happened so suddenly

Like heaven has waited up for me

*smiles*

Decision decision.

2009-06-02T21:13:00.000-07:00

OR.....

I think metal braces (above pic) looks cool as opposed to white braces. Some people look weird with metal braces. Right now, I am still thinking.

Whadya think??? :)

Prevention is better than cure.

2009-06-02T20:38:00.001-07:00

ahhhh.

I am so done with exams. At least for now. Just pray that everything goes well.

Right after my land paper, I dragged the whole family to jog with me. It was drizzling but I did not care much about the rain. I just wanted to jog and sweat!

Of to steamboat and had loads and loads of vegetables and garlic. lol.

I had a glass of beets + carrot juice and paid a several visit to the toilet before went to bed. The result, flat tummy!The wonders of beets!

It felt so good with the cleansing process right after exams. (Let's just hope it continues.LOL.)

Going to make it a habit. No alcohol, more veges. This is so not me but due to some reason and experiences from other people, I have to start eating healthily. Frankly speaking, I can't rely on my high metabolisme always. It started to slow down a lil when I was in the midst of exam period and fed myself with fattening food and starbuck drinks. As a consequence, I got sick and diarrhea quite often and the worst, acne and extra KGs. It is time to start all over again with eating greens cos being skinny (not anymore) and tall does not guarantee me being healthy. so much toxic in the system. It is time to DETOX! :)

No title.

2009-05-06T05:29:00.000-07:00

Blardy exam!

Pimples are everywhere on my forehead. I cannot stop from touching my face, scalp and hair while reading. (such a bad habit. gonna get bald by the time I graduate)

And I have been eating like a pig. I dig the fridge when i am under pressure.

I cannot study without star bucks caramel hot chocolate and latte. And chocolates.and junk food.

Now my money all gone. Supposed to save money for facial and massage after exams.=(

I gain 5 kg . wtf.

Byebye. Back to books.

forgiveness.

2009-05-05T06:11:00.000-07:00

some people are just complicated.

People come and go. People come into your life, hurt your feelings and go.(if you are unlucky, they would stay)

People come into your life, make you the happiest person alive and go.(if you are lucky, they would stay)

I come across a person who is as complicated as law of trusts but when I think about it, there is a rationale in every single behaviour he potray. He leads a tough and lonely life, hence explains his complicated behaviour.

Therefore, I forgive.

never regret.never complain. Just appreciate.

2009-05-05T03:30:00.000-07:00

I used to doubt my own capabilities and my own destiny when I first did my law degree, when I was in my first year. Am I fit to be a lawyer? Am I analytical enough to be in this legal world? Am i smart enough? Am i strong enough(mentally)? Is this my destiny? Or maybe i should do other things which i enjoy the most?

Eventually I have stopped questioning myself once im in this level where im standing right now. whethr I enjoy what Im doing 100%,, that is not the question. Being a law student has put me into a level whereby I have my own opinion almost about everything and never take 'i don't know' as an answer. Being a law student has shaped me into a better person and also has accepted the fact that everybody has the right to exercise the freedom of speech.

You can say whatever you want, you can say to my face that you do not like my work, you can't stand my attitude and I will respect you for being straightforward.

I would love to sit down over a cup of coffee and rebut your presumption. I realised that i am no longer take harsh words seriously. Instead of keeeping quiet and not talking to people who have hurt my feelings, i would let them know how I feel.

I come across some people who hate to discuss over a matter, who don't bother to know how I feel. When he/she refused to talk over things, i would try as hard as possible to pass my words to her/him. Some people dont like to know the truth and being me, i always want to tell people the truth and be honest about my feelings and some people can't accept honesty. But being a law student, it is all about being thick skin. You are willing to go extra mile just to tell what you think about certain things.

Being a law student teaches me to believe in myself. People can say whatever they want but as long as i know myself inside out, nothing can beat that.

There is always disadvantages,there is always the other side of the coin but somehow, i would say that we learn from our experiences and be a better person. There is always a reason for everything, to be precise.

Regardless if you are a law student, medic student, engineering student, culinary student or even proffesionals and every single proffesion in this world, every single path you take, every place you go, every people you meet in your life, every experience you got (be it disastrous or good ones), learn to appreciate cos you learn something from every journey you have taken.

Life oh life.

2009-03-29T09:56:00.000-07:00

The purpose of life, after all, is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experiences.

2009-03-28T06:46:00.000-07:00

This is what you called Earth Hour?

What a shame.

Or maybe these people prefer making love with the lights on.

I was all alone while these people at my area were busy making love with the lights on. I was pretty much starving, alone and broke in this little dark room.

I had a good time reflecting things in the dark til 9 pm and that was when I started to get restless. I called up my sister just to kill the time and I realized that it was such a bad idea to call her up. She started to blabber about food, food and food.

That was the biggest mistake I have ever made. Now I am just too hungry.

slumber land

2009-03-28T00:11:00.000-07:00

I think God is trying to tell me something. Sometimes I feel that I am alright, I am content but little did I know, I am actually trying to hide those poignant feelings of sadness, for whatever reason.

I had a dream last night that I had to sing this song for a singing competition. over and over again.

There's a hero if you look inside your heart

You don't have to be afraid of what you are.

There's an answer if you reach into your soul

and the sorrow that you know will melt away

And then a hero comes along

with the strength to carry on

and you cast your fears aside

and you know you can survive.

So, when you feel like hope is gone

look inside you and be strong

and you'll finally see the truth

that a hero lies in you.

It's a long road when you face the world alone;

No one reaches out a hand for you to hold.

You can find love if you search within your self

and the emptiness you felt will disappear.

And then a hero comes along with the strength to carry on

and you cast your fears aside

and you know you can survive.

So, when you feel like hope is gone

look inside you and be strong

and you'll finally see the truth that a hero lies in you.

Lord knows dreams are hard to follow,

But don't let anyone tear them away.

Just Hold on, there will be tomorrow,

In time you'll find the way.

God is great and it is a sign that I have to put everything aside and indulge in a prolific conversation with Him. God is great. He is aware (duh) that I always keep things to myself. God is great.

Its been a while...

2009-03-27T23:22:00.000-07:00

Aku duduk keseorangan di bilik kecil yang telah aku diami selama 2 tahun. Di bilik ini lah aku mengejar cita-citaku dan menelaah pelajaran bertemankan nota dan buku pelajaran. Di bilik inilah aku mengharungi segala rintangan di kota metropolitan ini. Bilik ini juga yang menjadi saksi tangisan dan hilaian tawaku pada waktu malam di mana teman serumahku yang lain sedang diulit mimpi indah.

Aku ibaratkan hidup ini sebagai roda. Roda kepunyaan Tuhan yang maha kuasa dan aku tahu hidup ini penuh dengan rintangan dan onak duri. Aku tahu aku perlu harungi semua ini untuk berjaya dengan panduan-Nya. Aku tidak akan pernah mengeluh apabila aku terpaksa lalui halangan yang perit seperti yang ditentukan oleh-Nya. Aku akan tetap melemparkan senyuman kepada makhluk-makhluk Tuhan yang lain kerana bagiku, perasaan yang kotor harus disimpan sekemas-kemasnya di dalam hati. Jangan pernah menunjukkan perasaan yang dicetuskan oleh Iblis dan jangan pernah mengerutkan dahi apabila ditimpa musibah. Pengalaman adalah guru kehidupan.

Aku akan terus melangkah, berlari menentang arus dengan perasaan yang paling didambakan oleh makhluk tuhan yang lain.

-feequa-

Vday

2009-02-22T10:57:00.000-08:00

Lovely ambience and great company.Scrumptious food. Yummy dessert.

She listens to him as he talks about his crush. yes his crush and hers on their first date on Valentines day dinner.

Honesty is the best policy.

She had fun. He had fun. Her friends had fun. The cameramen and photographers had fun.

Great experience.

P/S-Where art thou, lady writer?

I wana go to the beach.

2009-02-22T09:34:00.000-08:00

Its 0136 am. I am having conversation with yours truly over a cup of hot coffee, flipping thru newspaper. I am sick of reading Vandervell`s stupid tactic on how to avoid paying ad valorem tax. I think he is the culprit behind my (and the law of trusts students) high level of stress.

I am gonna have a night out with my 2 favourite lecturers and a close friend of mine. I cant wait. I need entertainment. I had a dull and innefficient weekend. I hate weekends. Too much of trusts. Too much dwelling on Vandervells problem on his beneficial interests. Bloody idiot that fella.

I miss home. I miss my family. I miss my parents. I miss my 2 sisters. I miss my cat. I miss my room. I miss my bed. I miss homecook food.I miss my KK friends.

I have to bear with fast food, pollution, stress, messy room with papers and books around, coffee and biscuits since im broke, public transportations, sleeping late, having meaningful conversations with myself, being single and lonely (laughing out loud) etc etc.

I dont mind gaining extra kg.

2009-02-08T23:29:00.000-08:00

Im gonna migrate. Im gonna shift to another region.

Danny Boome is hawt. Kill me.

Im so gonna go to UK to do my masters and start saving moolah from now on.

Also, to hunt for Danny Boome.

Guys who can cook turns me on.

Ps- Thanx Sai for the butterscotch bread.=)

Blessings in life.

2009-02-07T08:01:00.000-08:00

I always look at the bright side whenever things went wrong.

I dont believe in having bad lucks in life.

Thanx to sharon n her bf for the chocolate and lovely dinner and nam yew for the valentines cookies.

Also, meaningful conversations with Uncle Hashim.

These small little things mean a lot to me.

Not forgetting wonderful friends around me.

*smiles*

Creep fascinates me.

2009-02-06T01:43:00.000-08:00

When you were here before, Couldn't look you in the eye?

You're just like an angel, Your skin makes me cry

You float like a feather

In a beautiful world

I wish I was special

You're so fuckin' special

But I'm a creep,

I'm a weirdo

What the hell am I doin' here?

I don't belong here

I don't care if it hurts,

I wanna have control

I want a perfect body

I want a perfect soul

I want you to notice when I'm not around

You're so fuckin' special

I wish I was special

But I'm a creep

I'm a weirdo

What the hell am I doin' here?

I don't belong here,

ohhhh, ohhhh

She's running out again

She's running out

She runs runs runs runs...runs..

Whatever makes you happy

Whatever you want

You're so fuckin' special

I wish I was special

But I'm a creep,

I'm a weirdo

What the hell am I doin' here?

I don't belong here

I don't belong here...

Sleepless night

2008-11-15T23:03:00.000-08:00

She is all alone.

She is completely alone on a lonely sunday.

It's going to rain soon and she hates it when it rains.

Rainy day reminds her of darkness and mortality,

Reminds her of sadness and tears,

She has always afraid of the dark.

When she sleeps in a total darkness,

she would hide under the light blue comforter which has a picture of a girl with antic bicycle under the blue sky.

All alone as well just like her.

But she is very certain that the girl is not afraid at all.

very sure.

She does not want to admit that she is afraid of the dark.

Egoistic, this kid.

She keeps on going.

Does not want to give up on this.

She wants to be just like the girl with the antic bicycle.

Hence, she forces herself to sleep trying to imagine sweet little things,

beautiful places,

scrumptious foods but to no avail.

Her mind whispers some evil thoughts.

It mumbles some mumbo jumbo which she doesn't understand at all.

It's a battle between her mind and her soul,

When she asks her mind to rest in stilness, how quickly it will turn restless.

How? she asks herself.

How? she asks God.

She pray asking for God's help,

asking God to touch her vulnerable soul and bless her

and put her to bed.

She wants God to put her to sleep.

She prays and she does not give up,

She pray for everyone especially for her dear sister,

and yes finally, she is in heaven.

-feequa.08-

Random.

2008-11-15T04:27:00.000-08:00

I appreciate poems. I used to write poems in Bahasa back in high school but defo not very good at it. :)

I was browsing thru my inbox in fb, and I found this, beautifully written by a friend of mine, Bhika some time ago. Def beautiful than roses.Thanks babe. *smiles*

"mak cik...i rarely write poems for ppl but this is for u....
its called INCOMPLETE..

i seem to have it all,
i seem to glow with a smile,plastered on my pretty face.
i dance,i sing,i play as if there is no 2moro.
yet something still lays missing.wat else do i yearn for?
wat else do i need?my portrayal of happiness,isnt it enough?
i compress everything inside,isnt it enough?
i never let my emotions show,isnt that enough?
my tiny heart still beats,hoping for a change.
it still beats hoping for a perfect life!
nevertheless,unitl it happens....i remain incomplete..

nurul..ur a strong amazing gurl.this poem is trying to say..dont keep everything inside..our lives r never perfect..we fall,we get back up...face the world n show them the finger...just thot of writing this.."

wuvwy ain't it?

p/s: This woman used to give me some sorta nicknames besides Tabu [giving me that roll eyes action]; macho woman, men magnet [don't ask], tiang [tall and used to be skinny but no more], Rafiki, makcik, nenek.

Gotta read that boring land now. :(

Take care everyone:)

Belated birthday post.

2008-11-14T10:48:00.000-08:00

Some of you (as far as i'm concerned, only the Lolous; madame Jacq and madame Alex are the avid reader of this lonely blog.lol) have already seen these pics as I've uploaded 'em on fb.

Let the pictures do the talking this time.:) and ~again~, thanx for the wishes on facebook, the smses, the midnight calls, gifts, the birthday cake and the company (thx pajan, lillian and danielle :D ) and the walk-walk-find-food in brickfields.:) Appreciate it much!

~ Hillarious! lol.~

p/s: Wana go karaoke with The Lolous (copycat of Jonas Brothers); Alexandra Chin (better makesure u ain't working at that time,lou) and Jacqueline Teo. (paktoh and aramaiti with us ah).hehe. Can't wait to go back!

Eat.pray.love.

2008-11-14T06:28:00.000-08:00

What I said to God through my gasping sobs was something like this: "Hello, God. How are you? I'm Liz. Nice to meet you." That's right - I was speaking to the creator of the universe as though we'd just been introduced at a cocktail party. But we work with what we know in this life, and these are the words I always use at the beginning of a relationship. In fact, it was all I could do to stop myself from saying, "I've always been a big fan of your work..." [Elizabeth Gilbert in Eat Pray Love].

I fell in love with this book right after Elizabeth Gilbert made an appearance in Oprah's Book Club. Won't be able to think of other things besides reading this book and getting myself a cup of hot milk with doublestuf Oreos. But first I have to go thru the mahfan ritual of removing ~~makeup~~ eyeliner and mascara.. so long Judith Mckenzie [author of landlaw text book] and hello Elizabeth Gilbert.

p/s: It was raining heavily and I found a comfortable shelter to read while waiting for the school or I should say college bus to come, ie under the flyover.

Take care.:)

Are you limiting God?

2008-11-01T02:51:00.000-07:00

"When God puts a dream in your heart, when He brings opportunities across your path, do you step out boldly in faith in faith, expecting the best, moving forward with confidence, knowing that you are well able to do God wants you to do? Or do you shrink back in fear and say, "That's too big for me. I'm not qualified. I'm not able. I could never do that." God wants to do a new thing in your life. But you've got to do your part and get outside that little box. Starts thinking big!" (Joel Osteen in Your Best Life Now)

Another blessing.

2008-11-01T00:18:00.000-07:00

I've started my belly dance class again after a year delay. yay! *jumps ups and down*

I crossed out wall basic climbing course from my to-do list and gonna postpone my climbing class next year, which is after my December break.

My first full dance is Ojos Asi by Shakira. I miss shimmying.

I'm smiling rite now, I am.

My first class was on Thursday and I was surprised I could still pick up those steps one by one after so long. Within that one hour class, I was able to pick up the whole routine of Ojos Asi. [I could never do this academically. lol]. I made a conclusion that I tend to be more focused when I dance than to sit in land law class.ha ha].

I love belly dancing. and oh, I just bought a scarf for bellydance with small little coins attached on the scarf which costs me RM45.

I'm a happy person and I demand everyone to hunt for your happy moments. :D

oh my..

2008-04-21T07:49:00.001-07:00

The burger stall across the road sells the yummiest burger and hot dog on earth.

I could not concentrate on whatsoever craps written in the textbook cos yummy pictures of burger kept on disturbing me.

mistake as to *burger* quality must *hotdog* fundamental *cheese.. to avoid a *burger special with cheese * contract.

ahhhh dammit.

Instead of indulging my mind with images of yummy burgers, why don't I have the real burger?! The REAL one, not just imagination okay to feed my hungry stomach. Without debating whether I should have it or not, I texted Nam U and dragged him to go with me. hehe.

I had hot dog with eggs and cheese and I was crying (not literally of course) with happiness and joy of some such.

newayssss...Thanx Nam Yew! :)

*smile*

*burp*

thanx sweetie!

2008-04-18T06:23:00.000-07:00

God is replying to all my prayers that I put forward before Him.

Thanx Suisse dear for calling me just now. You just made my day by telling me there's still ample time to revise the bulk of legal principles. I really appreciate it really.*smile*

*hugs* May God bless you dear and protect you with His love..:) muax!

Thank you daddykin.

2008-04-16T03:58:00.000-07:00

"I will pray for you so you have no fear and trust in God"..

*smile* May God bless u, dad..

my baby girl..

2008-04-12T05:12:00.000-07:00

I miss having my girl around.

She's been such a darling all these while and also a faithful hide-and-seek partner.

She will be there when I hang the clothes outside the house early in the morning.

She's always around when I'm alone.when I feel down.

we share the same bed as well.

and we adore mom's honey chicken.

she's my baby girl, myghul. (pronounced as my-girl). miss u. i wana go home. another 2 weeks!

s.h.i.t

2008-04-09T05:49:00.000-07:00

s.h.i.t happens.

---> (that's not me of course)

oh yes, it does happen to everyone including yours truly.

sigh....

2007-11-03T21:35:00.000-07:00

I wish you bluebirds in the spring

To give your heart a song to sing

And then a kiss,

but more than thisI wish you love

And in July a lemonade

To cool you in some leafy glade

I wish you health And more than wealth

I wish you love

My breaking heart and I agree

So with my best My very best

I set you free I wish you shelter from the storm

A cozy fire to keep you warm

But most of all when snowflakes fall

I wish you love..